Jane Doh-Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash


We got married six months ago, just shy of ten days. Of the million new things that have entered my life, babies is one them. Babies.

Babies. Babies. Babies.

I’m not trying to increase my word count by repeating the word babies. This post is off to a horrible SEO start anyway. But maybe we could learn to care a bit less about these things, just like whom? Babies.

The newest baby in my life

When my husband’s best friend and his wife had a baby five months ago, I didn’t know my life would change too. Although nobody has asked us beyond an occasional jab here and there, somehow, babies have become a hot topic in our own minds. We’ve done this to ourselves.

The new parents, another married couple friends, my husband, and I decided to spend an entire Saturday together at our place. My husband and I were recovering from a huge fight we’d had just the previous Saturday. But due to the new way of living that has deprived us of almost all in-person social activities, we were both in a great mood individually to play hosts to anyone else except each other for some time. Even if it involved having a baby around. After all, fights need a break too.

The new parents were the first to arrive, early Saturday morning, comfortable, and I imagine, highly relieved to get a break from their routine too. They settled in and I made breakfast. My husband and I took our own sweet time and turn spending time with the infant. Personally, I consider it a victory beyond any other imaginable feat (barring maybe giving birth because I do NOT intend to make any mammas angry) that I did not even once let out an exasperated mental sigh imagining what it would be like to be around a baby for 24 hours straight. It was the first time ever I was going to experience this.

Stupid loving glances

What I really would like to know, world, is why is it so important for newly weds to glance at each other and find the other staring at us so lovingly, as we try to have a genuine connection with the infant? Why, husband? Why? You definitely don’t look at me like that when I’m wolfing down an entire fistful of chips which I assure you I connect with more than an infant that’s not mine. Every time I watched my husband while he’s bonding with the baby, I am pretty sure my expression is two-infants-playing-that’s-cute at the most.

Say what you will, one doesn’t need to have a baby to realise that you should only have one if you’re willing to have your entire life changed and not even know how it’s going to change. Can you accept that? If yes, you can have a baby.

The world will coo after you too

The other married couple friends joined us and soon went from two angry adults to six happy adults and one really well-adjusted infant in the house. Aromas of a delicious lunch wafted through the kitchen and a great time was in full swing. The five month old adjusted so well to all the new voices and noises, she even went a step further and slept through most of it. Another lesson learnt: mind your own business and sleep as much as you possibly can. The world will coo after you too. By late afternoon, my husband and I both realised how badly we needed this.

I looked so hard for hints on the new parents faces. The faces reflected only patience and change. Change that the infant had brought into their lives. Good, bad, regret, joy, is not my place to judge. But there was a change. The infant had assimilated into their life.

Nature, mother, baby, unhelpful husband and foot-in-mouth

At one point during the day, the most stupidest conversation of every generation began. Why don’t fathers spend more time with their babies aka help out more, hold the baby more when they cry and not go running to mommy? I just realised something. Men cannot do without mommies. Be it their own or the one that’s their wife. I am not retracting that statement.

Typically, the guys took on the demeanour of sages who have just woken up from a deep meditation and said, “The baby needs its mother for the first few months. That is how nature has made this beautiful bond.” like bruh, please stop talking for your own sake. Sadly for the infant’s mother, it was her very own husband who said this.

Ideally this is the point where we would break for a minute and pray for him. But maybe men like him need to also realise how strong nature has made his wife’s foot which I’m sure found its way up his arse the moment they got back home on Sunday morning.

Jane Doh-Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

As for my husband and I, spending time with our friends, cooking together, being away from each other for a couple of hours and finding each other’s hands when we found ourselves in the same room, was all the assimilation we both needed.

No shit, Sherlock

The next day, I was walking past my husband’s laptop that was open to his WhatsApp chat from his best friend. And there lay one unread message – Life completely changes after a baby, dude.

No shit, Sherlock.

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